Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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