Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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