Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
