if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
