Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
