don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
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