Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
