i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
