And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
