yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
