Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
