More tranny stories later!
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
this boner is exhausting
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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