im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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