Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize