I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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