when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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