In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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