remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I lost the right to judge tonight
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
