evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
It's no shave November. This is our time.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
