shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
