did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize