when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Randomize
