I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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