3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
