Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
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