Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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