4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
