you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
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