Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
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