Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
