It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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