so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
no. you can't hotbox the world.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Can I color on your dick again?
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
