That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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