So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
