Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
