i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
