i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
