Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
