I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
