I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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