I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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