And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Randomize
