I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
