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I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
