my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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