Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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