Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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