LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
