I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Randomize
