Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize
