I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
At least make sure they are 18
Why
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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