Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
This beer is not sobering me up at all
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
