Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
