It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
