Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize