I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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