I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
