I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
