So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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