in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize