i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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