i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
