The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
