I'm really into asian looking animals
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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