i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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