Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
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