A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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