I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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