But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
