did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I just want nice things and good sex
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
