he puts the penis in happiness.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
