someone get that fucking seahorse.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
