he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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