When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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