You really coming over, don't trick.
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize