so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
