Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
