My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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