chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
