I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
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